If you’ve been around for a bit, you know I’ve been doing a lot of soul-searching and personal development over the last few years. This has been an ongoing process that started with beginning to understand my sexuality, then my gender, then my career choices and passions, and THEN, finally and most recently, digging deep beneath all the WHAT to really start to get to know the WHO.
A few weeks ago, I had the chance to attend an amazing transformational weekend (info here). As a group, we chipped away at walls and wounds and in the process I found some answers. At the end of the weekend, we stood in front of the group and shared what we had realized, and what we were committed to. I want to share an extended version of that with you now.
- I realized I have been using The Artist’s Admin, and the idea of being “just” support, as something to hide behind. I’ve used it as a shield to play small, and skirt around stepping into power and leadership.
- I realized I have been defining myself by what I do (admin, caregiver, etc) instead of who I am (passionate, creative, queer).
- I realized that the reason my projects keep starting and stopping is because I was still jumping onto projects because I thought they were what I should do or what the world was telling me I should do.
- I realized I was avoiding stepping fully into the projects I am truly passionate about out of fear that is based on stories I’ve built in my head that aren’t even capital-T True.
- I realized I was still basing my life on the idea that I have to pick One True Calling and anything else was just a hobby.
- I realized that I am still letting deep-rooted feelings of unworthiness hold me hostage.
- I am committed to stepping in to myself as a full person, and putting who I am before what I do.
- I am committed to coming out of the shadows and owning that I have power and strength.
- I am committed to working WITH (not just for) my core set of clients, who I trust and believe in and want to continue to grow alongside.
- I am committed to launching my gender-free clothing line in 2020.
- I am committed to building a lifestyle that combines both my creative and analytical sides.
- I am committed to showing up as a passionate & creative, queer & transgender man in my community.
- I am committed to fostering and building a community of other queer creatives, and coaching & collaborating with them to design a lifestyle that supports their passions
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
- It means that this is the last post as The Artist’s Admin. It means that brand name is fading away. I’ve already changed all my socials to just my name. Stepping in to ME, no hiding.
- It means I am building my own career on my terms
- It means I am doing the prep work to launch my gender free clothing line
- It means I am stepping in to being a Coach
- The world is on fire, AND we get to choose how to live/show up in it.
- I work with queer creatives to step out of imposter syndrome and fear to believing in themselves, taking control of their lives and businesses, and pursuing their creative passions.
THIS IS NOT AN ENDING, THIS IS BLOWING UP THE BOX.
Please follow my continuing journey here.